Not Your Problem
by dorydafish
Summary: SUICIDE WARNING! - 'I told my dad. He was cool with it. It was my own fault, really. I thought if my dad was cool about the gay thing, maybe Z and the guys would be too.'


_**I'm really disappointed and frustrated that Dave isn't going to be in the first five episodes of Season 3. We still don't even know if he will be back at all.**_

_**This is just my way of dealing with it.**_

_**It's dark, so be warned**_

* * *

><p>"Karofsky's back," Kurt heard Mercedes say behind him to Santana.<p>

He had to stop his conversation with Blaine mid-sentence, because something didn't add up. Since when was Karofsky not in school? But now he thought about it further, there hadn't been the burly presence in the hallway since school started up. But Kurt had just put it down to the fact that Dave was avoiding him and his boyfriend, now that Blaine had transferred to the school. "Why was he gone?"

Mercedes leaned forward onto her desk so she could whisper in Kurt's ear without "Rumour has it he was home schooled for a couple of weeks after it happened."

"It?" Kurt pressed. He shared a looked with Blaine. What had Karofsky done now?

Santana answered for Mercedes, but not before looking around. "Puck said some of the guys jumped him after he told Z he's gay."

Kurt's eyes widened and his expression must have been of shock because Blaine placed a comforting hand on his arm. Mercedes, however, mistook the reason as to why Kurt was shocked in the first place. "I know, right? The guy's gay. Who would have thought it?"

But Kurt didn't have time to respond as the glare from their teacher put an abrupt stop to the gossiping.

* * *

><p>Kurt saw Dave for the first time since the end of junior year, later that day. Kurt watched him struggle to dial the combination to his locker with his left hand, because his right arm was covered in a cast from his wrist to his armpit. Kurt hesitated, wondering if he should go over to help but gave a breath of relief when Dave managed to open the locker all by himself. It wasn't because Kurt was still scared of the boy. It was just because he didn't quite know what to say.<p>

* * *

><p>The next time Kurt saw Dave was a week later when he literally bumped into Dave's still healing arm. "Oh my god. I'm so sorry."<p>

"Don't worry about it, Kurt," was the reply he got from Dave.

But now it was awkward. He had clearly seen the cast. He was going to have to ask about it. "I heard what happened."

"Yeah? I'm not surprised. Everyone has." There was a wry smile on Dave's lips. "That's what you get for being a gay jock right? Comes with the package." Dave joke sounded bitter as though he was forcing himself to make light of the situation. "I didn't really want to come back. Dad made me."

"I'm sorry," Kurt said. Not knowing what else to say.

"You weren't the one who put me in a cast. You have nothing to be sorry for," Dave insisted, shaking his head.

"I shouldn't have pushed you-"

Dave waved him off. "I told my dad. He was cool with it. It was my own fault, really. I thought if my dad was cool about the gay thing, maybe Z and the guys would be too. It didn't really work out like that." Dave shrugged as though it was no big deal, and Kurt noticed for the first time that Dave's shoulders weren't as bulky as they were a few months previously. In fact, he looked as though he had shed more than a couple of pounds, and not in a healthy way.

Kurt shuffled his feet. "Do…do you want to hang out with us. I mean…if you want." He felt obliged to ask. Dave didn't look like he had any friends left and Kurt wasn't the type to abandon someone that needed his help.

"No thanks. Like I said don't worry about it. It's not your problem," he said offering Kurt a small smile before nodding. "Your boy is waiting for you." Kurt turned around to see Blaine hovering at a distance. He was inwardly grateful at Dave's decline as he really didn't want to be the one explaining why his former bully was sitting with the Gleeks.

"Well, if you need anything…" he said wrapping up the conversation.

"I don't. See you around, Kurt," Dave gave him a beaming smile, but Kurt knew better. To those passing by, giving him a fleeting look, Dave looked happy but the smile didn't reach his eyes. However, Kurt didn't have any more time to talk to Dave. He was already late for lunch time rehearsals. He waved a quick goodbye before huddling with Blaine, excited to see what amazing song his boyfriend had picked for there duet.

* * *

><p>A couple of weeks later, Kurt noticed Dave in the corner of the canteen. Kurt wasn't sure if that had been the boy's new eating spot for a while, but he knew why his eyes were drawn there. The ex-jock was hunched over his tray of food, picking at it while random chips and burger buns were being thrown at him at a distance from the football table. Dave's former friends.<p>

Kurt didn't understand. Why was nobody calling them out? Why wasn't Dave standing up for himself? The whole thing was quite disturbing. He looked around his own table. None of his friends had seemed to notice Dave's problem. Or did they just not care? Kurt wasn't sure if he should speak up and say something, but then why should he? What was he going to be able to do that Dave couldn't do for himself? He flickered his gaze back to Dave one more time. It was a little bit of food. It wasn't doing much harm.

* * *

><p>It was November by the time Kurt saw Dave in the hallway again. The cast was off and his arm appeared as though it had fully healed. This time Dave was covered in grape-flavoured slushie. He offered Dave a tissue.<p>

"You need to tell someone," he told the bigger boy.

"You of all people know that the teachers don't give a fuck around here. Besides, you know everyone's thinking the same thing. It's karma. For what I did to you last year. They're right. I deserve it."

"You don't!" Kurt protested.

"You're going to be late to your next class," Dave said changing the subject. He clearly didn't want to talk about it.

And Dave was right. He was going to be late if he didn't get a move on. Mr Gibson had already given him a tardy warning this week. Another would mean detention. "You sure you're okay?"

"I'm great," said Dave and then he presented that almost-smile again, but he must have noticed Kurt's unsure expression. "It's not your problem, Kurt. Don't sweat it," Dave added nodding a farewell.

Kurt didn't have time to say goodbye as he raced to his class, glad that he had just about made it on time.

* * *

><p>If Kurt had looked hard enough, the clues were there that day. If he'd just thought a little longer as to why Dave's locker was open, with a bunch of flowers stuck to the inside of the door. If he'd just asked Santana why she was in tears rather than assuming it was because of another harsh comment made by Sue Sylvester. But he didn't.<p>

So he was completely unprepared as he entered the auditorium for a special assembly that afternoon with the rest of the student body.

Even then, Kurt failed to put together why Figgins was walking up to the stage with a solemn expression.

"Yesterday evening, at eleven twenty two, David Karofsky, 2011 Junior Prom King and Chamionship Team Right Guard, was found dead at his home after taking his own life, just two months after being the victim of a homophobic attack." Figgins paused, probably to let the words sink in. But they wouldn't. Because how could Dave be dead? Why would Figgins even say something like that?

The murmurs started, but Kurt just shook his head. This didn't make any sense. He had talked to Dave, only days before. He didn't look like he was going to kill himself. There were no signs. His vision turned blurry and suddenly it felt hard to just breathe. Only when Blaine gripped his hand tightly did Kurt realise that there were tears falling down his cheek.

"Santana Lopez has asked if she could sing a song today in memory of her friend. The guidance counsellor is available for students that feel they may benefit from talking through the tragedy that has occurred." Kurt kept his eyes on Figgins as he left the stage, he looked as if he hadn't slept all night. But why hadn't he called out Azimio Adams and his cronies? Everyone knew they were the ones that attacked Dave.

It was only when Santana started talking that Kurt turned to face her. She wore a low cut, plain, black dress. The sign she was in mourning. But Kurt grew angry. What right did she have? She hadn't sat by Dave at lunch and as far as he knew hadn't talked to Dave once this school year. In fact, Kurt was pretty sure, that the day the jocks were throwing food at Dave, Santana was draped around Brittney.

But Santana could barely stand and somewhere in the back of his mind, Kurt wondered how on earth she was going to sing. "I'm…I'm so sorry, D. I should have been there for you. You were my best friend, even though I tried to hide it at school. This is for you."

Kurt watched as she took a deep breath before she started singing.

"_In my dreams  
><em>_I'll always see you soar  
><em>_Above the sky  
><em>_In my heart  
><em>_There will always be a place  
><em>_For you for all my life  
><em>_I'll keep a part  
><em>_Of you with me  
><em>_And everywhere I am  
><em>_There you'll be  
><em>_And everywhere I am  
><em>_There you'll be"_

There was no music. It was almost haunting watching her sing acapella on her own in the middle of what now looked like a huge stage.

"_Well you showed me  
><em>_How it feels  
><em>_To feel the sky  
><em>_Within my reach  
><em>_And I always  
><em>_Will remember all  
><em>_The strength you  
><em>_Gave to me  
><em>_Your love made me  
><em>_Make it through  
><em>_Oh, I owe so much to you  
><em>_You were right there for me"_

Kurt didn't want to listen to it any more.

"_'Cause I always saw in you  
><em>_My light, my strength  
><em>_And I want to thank you  
><em>_Now for all the ways  
><em>_You were right there for me  
><em>_You were right there for me  
><em>_For always"_

Kurt wanted to be anywhere else. He needed to not be there, but Blaine was squeezing his damn hand so hard.

"_In my dreams  
><em>_I'll always see you soar  
><em>_Above the sky  
><em>_In my heart  
><em>_There will always be a place  
><em>_For you for all my life  
><em>_I'll keep a part  
><em>_Of you with me  
><em>_And everywhere I am  
><em>_There you'll be  
><em>_And everywhere I am  
><em>_There you'll be  
><em>_There you'll be"_

When Santana finished there was no applause.

Just silence.

* * *

><p>Kurt wasn't sure why he kept crying. He and Dave couldn't even be classified as friends. Every time he thought he had exhausted the tears, a new wave would start.<p>

For the first time in ten years, Burt rocked his son to sleep.

The funeral was held on a Thursday.

Kurt didn't go. He couldn't.

Dave said it himself.

_It wasn't his problem._

* * *

><p><em><strong>I'm sorry guys. I just needed a good cry.<strong>_

_**DDF**_

_**XXX**_


End file.
